New Job and Some Spam

Great news, dear readers! I am now gainfully employed. I was recently hired as an admissions counselor for a local college, and I could not be happier about it. Besides the prospect of regular paychecks, I'm super psyched to be working in academia. It's pretty much the best. I'm sure this new position will eventually yield great blog posts, but for now, I will just say that my coworkers are great, and I think this is going to work out well.

But just so that you don't leave empty-handed, here's some pretty good spam, left as a comment on this very blog.

The comment was posted by a "person" named WELCOME TO TEMPLE OF SOLUTION," and here's what "she" had to say:

Hello! my name is Miss fred philiph, I’m from uk. I want to share my testimony with all of you. priest omigodo gave me the possibility to start my new and happy life with jane. The commitment and Marriage spells worked beyond my imagination. 6th of June will be always in my memory as the start of our new life. We had the most beautiful wedding and I was in the seventh heaven from happiness. I am sure that this feeling will be with us during our whole life and it will never leave us. We’ll remain grateful forever. Please my friends if you need the help of this man just contact him on his email: templeofsolution@gmail.com or call priest omigodo on his phone number +2348079367204

So... I think what she's saying ("she" being "Miss Fred Philiph") is that a "priest" named "Omigodo" used some sort of magic (i.e. "commitment and Marriage spells") to help her secure a same-sex union with "Jane." Since I'm pretty sure same-sex marriage is legal in "uk," I can only assume that Jane was not consenting to this union and that Priest Omigodo used some sort of mind control to force Jane to marry Miss Fred Philiph. That's actually pretty impressive. I guess Temple of Solution really knows how to get things done. Thanks for the comment, Miss Fred!


ALSO! I did a Google search for Priest Omigodo and I found this gem on some random message board:

I work at a very big farm and have too many chickens and sheep to feed nad take care of by myself. I needed a helping hand so I contacted priest omigodo to see if he could cast a spell and get me an extra hand to help.priest omigodo make spell for sure but it no work out so good like I expect. priest omigodo make extra hand all right, but now I have three arms and hands and it is very hard to buy clothes.Thanks but no thanks priest omigodo

Thanks but no thanks!

Spam! Courtesy of Cailey

It's been awhile since I've had a good spam email, but thankfully, my friend Cailey is on the case and sent me this beauty today. Most of the email is pretty boring and appears to be related to insurance, but the first bit is pure gold and almost makes me want to reply.

From: Prophet Ogidiga
Subject: CONTACT ME NOW 

DO YOU NEED A POWERFUL SPELL CASTER? CONTACT ME NOW PROPHET OGIDIGA ON MY EMAIL: [email address omitted]

First off, if someone named "Prophet Ogidiga emails you with a subject line like "CONTACT ME NOW," doesn't that kind of make you want to know what they have to say? This person is a prophet! They might hold your life in the balance! And then you open the email, and yes, I do need a powerful spell caster.

The next bit of the email is not in English. At first I thought it was Latin and, therefore, the beginnings of a powerful spell. You know, to show what Prophet Ogidiga can do. But alas, it was just Spanish with an English translation below. And, as I said, it was about insurance coverage, but I have to wonder if they mean real insurance or the kind of insurance that you can only get when you've enlisted the services of a powerful spell caster. The double indemnity clause in that contract must be amazing. 

#1 Google Images result for "powerful spell caster"

Thanks, Cailey, for your excellent contribution. And, dear readers, if you would like to review some of my awesome past emails, check out the links below:

• A spam-related post!
• Email from my gym
• Best Email of the Day
• write you back 9
• "Have we considered the possibility that doctors don't know how to use umbrellas?"  

A spam-related post!

Hey there, dear readers. My attempts at getting back into blogging seem to have stymied. But now I'm back, with an awesome bit of spam! This is gonna get super meta. Prepare yourselves!

Yesterday I was checking to see if there were any new comments here on the blog. And this is what I found:

First of all, it was posted by a "person" named "get pregnant after miscarriage." That right there is bizarre and a bit uncomfortable. But then you think, "I wonder what get pregnant after miscarriage wants to say on my blog. Probably something about mothers and the miracle of life. Hey, I might get some insight here!" Here's what gpam had to say:

Shoes are often one of the most overlooked components in a wardrobe. But shoes can be one of the best ways to add a little bit of zest to an outfit. While shoes started out as a practical foot covering, they have evolved into fashion statements. 

Wow. Good point, gpam!!  So often I overlook, not only shoes, but the fact that they are part of fashion. Usually I just wrap plastic grocery bags around my feet before I leave the house, but thanks to this insightful comment on my blog, I now know that shoes have evolved and I can actually wear them in order to accessorize an outfit.

Oh, and what blog post was this appended to? Actually somewhat appropriately, it was on another post about amusing electronic correspondence. Check it out. And then go leave a non sequitur comment somewhere.