write you back 9

If you are a frequent reader of this blog, you probably know that I have a deep and abiding love of bad spam mail. I have been so vocal about this love, in fact, that one of my coworkers has taken to printing out her best spam emails for me. I have a real gem for you today, but first I want to encourage you to watch out if you have a Hotmail account.

I have one that I've been using since high school as a place where junk mail can be sent. It's probably not a surprise, then, that this fortress of internet security was hacked a couple of months ago. I was informed by several friends that they had received a spam message from "me" which sent me into a fevered rush of password changes. The following Monday, the coworker who prints out spam for me had also received this important message from "Kimber." Here's how it goes. See you if can tell that I didn't really write it.

Subject: write you back                                            9

I can not believe that it is so cheap and top quality.Why they have so many nice things.Please buy soon. [link]

For the record, the 9 was there exactly as I have typed it, spaces and all.

I don't think anyone I know was fooled into clicking the link. If you were, I'm sorry, but that's on you. To be fair, you were probably confused because "Why they have so many nice things" is one of my favorite things to say. I wonder if that was a question or an exclamation. Probably a question, but maybe I said it like, "Why, they have so many nice things!" Yeah, maybe it was a Polly Anna-esque indication of surprise. Anyway, that's all been cleared up, but be always vigilant, my friends. It could happen to you!

Now on to today's spam. This one comes from Nancy. Note that where I say "flower" there was actually a tiny picture of a flower in the email. I don't know how she did that. Nancy is very computer-savvy.

Greetings from Nancy (flower flower)
How are you today? and how about your health? hope fine and you are doing well, My Name is Nancy, I am looking for a very nice  who the meaning of love, caring, honest, matured, understanding, and of good character, then after going via this search i pick interest in you.

So i will like you to write me with my E-mail address which is as follow, for me to tell you more about me, and as well give you my pictures because thanks Your New Friend
Miss Nancy (flower flower flower)

My favorite part is when she says "because thanks." Nancy wants to give me her pictures; no explanation needed! Also note that she is looking for "a very nice." Man? Woman? Gullible patsy? She isn't picky. Nancy's just looking for love. And how lucky I am that she pick interest in me!