If you're in South Korea, you can expect to eat Bulgogi burgers. If you're in Cyprus, you can apparently purchase Carlsberg beer. So what about Scotland? Well, dear readers, it is my duty as your resident bloggist to find the answers to these kinds of pressing questions. Last week, I walked a little less than 2 miles to my local McDonald's to try out the Scottish version of American fast-food.
Of course, they had some of the usual fare: Big Macs, french fries, Chicken McNuggets, Quarter Pounders, and Filet o' Fish sandwiches. There were a few things, however, that were different. Nothing as extreme as Shrimp Burgers or Vegatable McCurry, but still not the same as what you've had if you've only ever eaten at McDonald's in the States.
I only ordered the four items I found most different/interesting/potentially appetizing. They are detailed below, with pictures. In addition to these four, they had Snack Wraps in Garlic and Herb flavor, something called a Chicken Legend, which I think was just a fried chicken sandwich, and a variety of "Deli Choices" in flavors like spicy vegetable and sweet chili chicken.
But now on the stuff I actually tasted. Here is my meal:
Scottish Product #1: 1955 Burger
I'm really not sure why they named it that. Presumably, everyone in Scotland in the 1950s preferred their burgers this way, but I cannot confirm that, as I am not a Scottish Marty McFly (he would be named Marty MacFly). This twist on your traditional cheeseburger comes with lettuce, tomato, grilled onions, bacon, and some kind of smoky sauce. They were really into smoky things at that McDonald's, which you will see more of later on. The burger doesn't look terribly appetizing all open like that, but I wanted to give an accurate picture of what was inside, minus the tomato, which I removed. It was ok, but of the things I ate that day, it was my least favorite. The smoky sauce just wasn't doing it for me.
Scottish Product #2: Potato Wedges
While I love your traditional McDonald's fries, I have to say that I am a huge fan of the potato wedges. They are more potato-y than their thinner cousins, which I think makes them less greasy and therefore, healthier. (I'm pretty sure they're not healthier, don't eat lots of them just because I said it's ok.) They are also slightly seasoned, which is a nice touch.
Scottish Product #3: Crunchie McFlurry
The McFlurry is, of course, a staple of McDonald's cuisine. What makes the McFlurrys from the Scottish McDonald's unique is that they're made with British candy rather than American, obviously. This one is made with one of my personal favorites, the Crunchie bar. If you've never had a Crunchie, you are missing out. If you don't live in the UK, maybe you can order them on Amazon. If you do live in the UK and have never had one, shame on you. Go buy a Crunchie.
Scottish Product #4: Shake 'n' Taste Chicken
This is my favorite product of the day and the one that I felt required the most explanation/pictures. It is more of a "snack" product, rather than a main course. What it is, is a paper bag with two chicken strips and a packet of flavoring.
Note again the preference for "smoky." Yum. As the flavor packet says, you rip it open, tip it into the chicken bag, shake, and enjoy.
You end up with chicken strips coated in a vaguely sticky BBQ-flavored powder. The snack was a bit problematic because the powder didn't really distribute evenly over the chicken, and a good deal of it remained on the inside of the bag. However, it was really tasty and made me wish all fast-food chains gave me BBQ powder with my chicken strips.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed this sojourn into the pinnacle of Scottish cuisine, my friends. Until next time, I will be working off the 3000 calories I consumed for your sake in the name of truth.
The End... or is it?
Yeah, it's the end.