Thursday, September 22, 2011

Hey Jesus, what is a Toastie?

I cannot begin to tell you how many flyers I have been handed while walking down the street since I became a student at this school. And that untellable amount is only about half the number of people I have seen giving away flyers and deftly managed to avoid. Maybe that's a thing at all big schools, but it is foreign to me and thus, AN ADVENTURE!

Well, today I was walking to the library, and out front a man was chanting "Free Toastie" while passing out some sort of card. Unable to avoid him and not wanting to be rude, I accepted the card and continued on into the library. It was then that I took a moment to read what I hand been handed.

Despite what the wording would suggest, this flyer is not asking you to send a text to a toastie, whatever that may be. Nor is "Toastie" an incarcerated individual that the man handing out the cards wants exonerated (which would explain the "Free Toastie" chant that accompanied the flyer).*

No, in fact, the flyer asks you to do a series of things in order to be given a free toastie, which is apparently some kind of grilled sandwich (I just looked it up). Here are the steps required to get your toasted sandwich:
Send a text to [number given] every other Thursday (dates provided) between 8 and 10 pm. Text should include:
1. Your address (so they know where to deliver your toastie)
2. The flavor of toastie you want (choices are ham, cheese, and chocolate. I can only imagine what a grilled chocolate sandwich is like)
AND (drumroll, please)
3. A question you would like to ask Jesus if you could
That's it. Ask Jesus a question, get a sandwich. Just as it was in Biblical times.

My friend Alan proposed the question that serves that this post's title. Other questions I might ask include "Where is this toastie coming from?" "Who made it?" and "What are the nutrition facts of my toastie?"

The group giving away the toasties included their website on the flyer. I checked it out, and I discovered that you can expect an answer to your question when your toastie is delivered to your place of residence. But here's the thing: the flyer invites you to ask a question of Jesus, not to ask a question of a member of this organization. How can they be so sure they are capable of answering my question? What if I want to know Jesus' opinion on the current economic crisis? Or which of the disciples was his favorite?

Clearly, they are not expecting those kinds of questions. That kind of snarkiness does not earn you a toastie. No, they probably want moral and theological questions, but the way I see it, if these people can answer my question without consulting Jesus directly, presumably I could access the same source of knowledge and answer the question myself.

But then I wouldn't get a free toastie, now would I?

*This kind of misunderstanding is not uncommon nor should it be taken lightly, as you can see in this episode of South Park.

1 comment:

  1. Yes, I'll admit, I was drawn in, not only by your wonderful adventures, but I too wondered what the #^%& a toastie was myself... Chocolate does sound delicious