Saturday, July 9, 2011

I should buy Happy Meals more often

Earlier this week I got a Happy Meal from McDonald's. I could go into detail and try to justify this questionable culinary decision, but just suffice to say that I was hungry and I bought a Happy Meal.

When I ordered this meal, they asked, as they always have, whether the meal was for a boy or girl. Despite the fact that I could have gotten a Pokémon card if I had said "boy," I went with my natural inclination and said "girl." Now, as everyone knows, girls LOVE Barbies. So it makes sense that the girl toy for the Happy Meal would be Barbie-related. It does not make sense that the "Barbie-related toy" was this:

This is a Barbie styling bust. Or as I like to call it "Disembodied Barbie Head." The idea is that you use this comb to style the Barbie's hair.

Except, note that the Barbie doesn't really have enough hair to style in any significant way. And even if she did, the hair would go right back to the way it looked before anyway. You can't even change the side on which her hair is parted. You could put it in a tiny ponytail, but that would reveal this unfortunate aspect of Barbie's hairstyle:

The shaved underside of the hair is not a great look for her. But really, that pales in comparison to the horror that is her face, specifically the eyes and forehead.

The eyes have this sort of jeweled quality designed to make them look like real human eyes, something I really don't want my toys to have. It's a little too Chucky-esque in my opinion.

Then there's the fact that she has this terrible scar across her forehead that makes her look like a scalping victim. Or Chucky again, if you prefer.

What I'm saying is, I really think McDonald's and Mattel should have thought this through a little more. Because maybe I'm over-thinking this, but I think something like Deluxe Scalped Disembodied Child's Play Barbie Head could have a negative effect on little girls, when all they wanted was something fun to play with while they enjoyed their tiny cheeseburgers.

Not to mention the jealousy these girls are going to feel when they see their male counterparts having the time of their lives with those Pokémon cards.

No comments:

Post a Comment